Flesh and Blood
by solveariddle
Summary: "It's okay." Alex's touch is careful but warm. Norma leans into him because he is the only thing standing between her and an abyss so dark and deep that she is certain she will never find her way back. / What if the events at the end of 4x2 when Norman attacks Norma had played out differently?


**A/N:** This story takes place around the events at the end of 4x2 Goodnight Mother when Norman is attacking Norma but then steers into non-canon territory that changes everything profoundly. I hope the first part in which I kind of recap some of the events of the episode from Norma's point of view is not boring since I needed it as build-up for what happens next. As much as I love Season 5 and Mother, I miss Norma dearly and writing this felt like redemption because I NEED HER TO BE ALIVE!

Trigger warning for suicide.

 **Disclaimer:** Bates Motel belongs to A&E. No copyright infringement intended. This is just for fun.

* * *

A cradle rocks.

A baby cries.

A new life begins.

* * *

Norma can't pinpoint the exact moment when she realized Norman was different. In hindsight it feels as if she always has known. Maybe that was the reason why she tried even harder to create a life that looked perfect on the surface, baking cookies, playing the piano, singing, hoping that if she just loved him enough, always kept him close and protected him fiercely, everything would be fine no matter what. Her variation of heaven on earth when there has been hell beneath all along, patiently waiting to come out and take over.

Today is the day.

When did it all go wrong? When did Norman's hallucinations start? As a toddler, he would just sit there and stare into nothingness sometimes. Were those his first blackouts? He couldn't walk, couldn't speak back then, but maybe there already was this entire parallel world inside of him she will never have access to. On other occasions he would throw his toys around, having a tantrum out of nowhere. _Everything is fine, Norman. I'm here, I'm here._ It always soothed him, convinced her even more that this, taking care of her son, was the one and only meaning of her life. And it has always worked. Until now.

Today everything will change.

She listens to Norman yelling at her, saying the most horrible things. He accuses her of killing Blair Watson, Bradley Martin and his father, just as he accused her of killing Emma's mother earlier today. This is her son, her lifeline, the one person that kept her sane after her abusive husband had taken it out on her another time or when the dark memories of her childhood threatened to overwhelm her. But here he is, towering over her, basically pinning her down in her chair. When did he become such a physical presence? When did he become one of the men she has to fear?

 _Are you afraid of being here alone with him?_ _If you're scared, you got to let me know._ That's what Alex said to her only a couple of hours ago. And… _No. No, of course not. No._ _I'm not scared._ That was her answer since everything else would have felt like betraying the confidence of her son. In the end Norman passed the lie detector test regarding Blair Watson's death, Bradley Martin ran away to kill herself and Emma's mother checked out, right? There is an explanation for everything. How easy it is to lie to ourselves when we need it in order to go on. No one wants to look back and see a life wasted due to all the mistakes we made.

Norman's yelling continues. A merciless crescendo, every word cutting into her, causing a pain Norma has never felt before in her entire life. _You should be scared. You're trying to pin it all on me and have me locked up! Well, I am not gonna let you do that!_ She knows what he means, hears what he's not saying. There is a part of her that refuses to understand, that will never understand because how is a mother supposed to accept that her son is about to kill her? The dearest boy that has ever lived. The boy she has always protected at all cost save that Norma never expected the cost to be her own life.

And then she runs.

She might not be able to accept what is about to happen, but her survival instinct does. Before she realizes what she is doing, Norma has jumped up in a flash and is racing upstairs, panting hard because there is not enough breath in the entire universe to fill her lungs. She has no idea where she is heading except that she has to find a safe place, has to protect herself since he is coming after her, shouting her name with an angry voice she doesn't recognize.

The gun is not where she left it. Norma didn't even know she was about to get it until her hands fumble around under her mattress only to find an empty space. It is gone. And there is only one logical conclusion. Norman's breakdown wasn't spontaneous. This is planned. The realization makes her feel as if someone is drowning her in ice cold water. When her son enters her bedroom at that very moment, gun in his hand, calm and composed, torn between his twisted thoughts and his love for her, the world as Norma Bates has known it comes to an end.

The next minutes are a blur until she finds herself locked in another room, safe but not safe because nothing in this world feels safe anymore after the one person you always relied on turned against you in the cruelest way. Norma can't say how much time has passed, the house eerily dark and silent, her fitful breathing the only sound. _Poor little Norma._ She wonders whether she actually tried to take away the gun from Norman in vain, actually called Alex and left him a message or not. Her imagination might be playing tricks on her in a world that is upside down. However there is no time to rest and think things through. That's not what she does. Norma carefully opens the door, listening, then sneaking through the house, seemingly aimless although she knows exactly where she is going. He will be in the basement. Where else?

Norma has been running all her life – from her family, from men, but mainly from herself. When she spots Norman in the basement with the gun, sitting right at the table where he guts and stuffs all those dead animals, she knows, though, that she can't run anymore. There is nowhere left to hide.

This is where it's going to end.

She is shaking, barely able to keep standing upright as he comes closer and closer.

"What's behind your back, mother?"

"It's nothing."

When did they start lying to each other? When did it become necessary in order to survive?

The metal of the scissors she is holding behind her back is cold, reminding her of several occasions when Norman was a child and she found sharp objects under his bed in the morning. In a household with two children things get misplaced constantly. So she didn't think anything of it, just put them away hastily, grateful that Norman didn't find them and accidentally hurt himself. The memory is a flash through her mind, in hindsight making Norma wonder whether it was no accident at all, a vision of her youngest son curdling her stomach as she imagines him standing next to the bed she and her husband were sleeping in, holding a knife. Motionless, breathing, watching. Maybe it all was just a matter of time, always has been.

"We don't belong in this world anymore, mother. So let's take ourselves out of the equation."

He keeps coming closer, and as hard as her fingers clutch the scissors, Norma realizes that she will never be able to defend herself when it means harming her son.

She is going to die. Right now. Right here.

"Norman, don't do this. You have to trust me."

He stares at her for a long time while the cold of the basement is soaking through her clothes. He must freeze too. Norma wishes she could take his hand, lead him upstairs and have him sit on the couch with a blanket while she makes him some tea. The mere idea calms her, the hint of a smile flitting across her face despite the horrible situation. Something in Norman's face changes. He is still upset, but there is a sudden clarity in his eyes that hasn't been there all evening, a sadness so deep Norma wishes she had looked away, had never seen it. It will haunt her for the rest of her life.

Norman reaches around her in a strange imitation of an embrace, grabbing her arm and bringing it to the front in an almost gently move, the scissors now stuck between their bodies. Norma knows what is about to happen, the thought like a wave rolling around in her body, coiling in her stomach first to push itself through her chest up to her throat until it is a wailing, a desperate scream _._ _No, please no._ But he is already pulling her even closer while at the same time turning the scissors around so that…

"Norma?" Alex's voice upstairs, distressed and worried as he kicks in the front door, searches empty rooms for her. The split second it takes to distract her, enabling Norman to go through with his plan.

How can he be so quiet when there is so much blood gushing out of the stab wound in his stomach? As quiet as Norman is, as loud is Norma's scream as she frantically tries to pull the scissors out, his strong grip preventing that. Norman collapses on the floor, pulling her down with him, the gun he dropped lying next to them like an unimportant side note.

"I love you, mother."

"No. _NO._ Norman..."

And then the two men are there. Alex and his deputy. Norma doesn't even recognize Alex at first, doesn't register anything besides her son who is dying right in front of her. It's all that matters, the fear for her own life forgotten. This can't be happening. Someone has to do something about it. Please.

Norma is fighting off Alex when he pulls her away from Norman so that his deputy can attend to him, Alex's grip firm and gentle at the same time. She hears him talking on the phone, calling the paramedics, but knows it's too late; she can feel Norman dying. Something inside her withers away, the part of her he inhabited because they were the same person.

"Everything is going to be okay, honey." The lies a mother tells when there's nothing left to say, followed by the one truth that will always stand. "I love you." Despite Alex's efforts to keep her away from Norman, to keep her safe in his book, she has managed to grab Norman's hand, holding it until his fingers go limp.

Her son is gone.

Hasty steps come down the stairs, the paramedics invading the basement like a foreign army. It's loud and crowded as they try to resuscitate Norman to no avail while Norma is standing around, watching but not seeing, observing but not understanding because this can't be true. She doesn't notice that Alex is keeping a wary eye on her, taking in her every move or even breath.

Before the paramedics leave, they inject Norma with something that is supposed to calm her. That's what they say, looking at her compassionately. She doesn't want compassion. And isn't she calm already? She doesn't feel anything because none of this is actually happening. It's just the worst nightmare she has ever had. Therefore Norma only protests mildly when they take Norman's body away as Alex softly explains that they will go and see him the next day. He doesn't add in the morgue; so it seems all right. Norman is only spending the night somewhere else.

Then it's only Alex and her in the house. Norma doesn't question that everyone else left and he stayed since it's always him, isn't it? She wants to go upstairs although she doesn't know why. It just feels as if she should do _something_. But her limbs won't move and the whimper escaping her throat scares her. Why does it feel as if the need to cry is choking her?

"It's okay."

Alex's touch is careful but warm. Norma leans into him because he is the only thing standing between her and an abyss so dark and deep that she is certain she will never find her way back.

And then she is finally moving save that it's Alex carrying her upstairs and Norma finds herself clinging to him as if her life depended on it, her hands clasping his jacket and shirt so tightly that it's difficult for him to lay her down on the bed.

"It's okay," he repeats as he unclenches her fists so that she lets go of him.

Alex does the strangest things tonight. Why would he bring a wet towel? Why would he be in her bedroom to begin with? The thoughts come and go. It is comforting, though, how he gently wipes the warm towel over her hands and face, for whatever reason he is doing it.

There was a lot of blood on Norma's skin, but the most of it is on her dress. If she was anyone else, Alex would have brought her to the police station to take photos and DNA samples as evidence, but he would never do that to her. Not after what happened. Her call, the scene in the basement, the gun on the floor. Alex knows what Norman did and will fight anyone who will dare to maintain the contrary. However, if Norma falls asleep wearing a dress that is soaked with her son's blood and will see it when she wakes up, it will make her go even more into shock than she already is, her robotic behavior terrifying him. She has to take it off.

"Norma," he addresses her, her eyes briefly flickering to his face before she keeps staring into nothingness again. "You have to take off your dress. It's… dirty."

Just when he thinks that this is not going to work, Norma sits up, raising her arms like a child. Alex jumps at the chance to undo her belt and then pull the dress over her head, revealing a black chemise underneath. Afterwards, Norma lies back as if she hadn't just let him undress her, slipping into her unresponsive mood again. What now?

Alex takes off his jacket and looks around, wondering how he will spend the rest of the night. He won't leave, that much is sure, but he doesn't intend to lie down on the bed either. It would feel like an intrusion of her privacy. He spots the bench in front of Norma's vanity, carrying it over to the bed so that he can sit there within reach. It won't exactly be a comfortable place to sleep, but it will have to do. Just when Alex turns off the lights and is about to sit down, though, Norma reaches out, grasping his arms and pulling him towards her with a surprising force born out of grief and the necessity to somehow survive this night.

"Don't," she whispers and it becomes clear what she means albeit he is right there when she keeps pulling him closer until he gives in and lies down on the bed next to her. _Don't go. Don't leave me alone._ But she needs him even closer. Norma pulls Alex on top of her although it's not sexual in any way. She doesn't move, just covers her body with his, a living shield against the cruelties of the world.

Alex rests his weight on his elbows so that he doesn't crush her. They just lie there for what feels like a very long time, her body underneath his strangely unfamiliar and intimate at the same time. Then he feels her chest rise and fall, her breathing change. Norma's arms that have been embracing him loosely, hold him tight. He feels and hears it. Her body shaking due to violent sobs, her cheeks wet against his skin as she buries her face in the crook of his neck. Feeling safe enough to finally let her grief take over.

She has always felt safe when he was around.

* * *

The wind howls.

A mother cries.

A life ends.

* * *

They fall asleep at one point, their limbs as entangled as their lives. When Alex wakes up, Norma is still sleeping, probably due to sheer exhaustion and the sedative they gave her. One of her hands clutches his shirt as if she feared he could have sneaked out otherwise. All of this feels like a bad dream, the peaceful beauty of her face a brutal contrast to her breakdown last night and the bloody towel and dress lying on the floor. He has to get rid of it before she wakes up. For another moment, Alex takes the chance to watch Norma though. He has never had that opportunity from up close without her being aware of it. She is a mess. Her hair tousled, her make-up smeared, and yet, he can't stop staring.

Norma stirs, her breathing getting shallow. She will wake up any minute. Alex reaches out to trace the delicate line of her cheekbone before he covers her fingers that are holding his shirt with his hand. What happened is horrible, a tragedy, and he can't even begin to imagine how difficult it will be for her to cope with it.

But every ending is a new beginning. Isn't that what they say?

* * *

 **Fin**

 _I know this has the potential to have more chapters, but I didn't want to write a story about how Norma copes with being an involuntary participant in the death (suicide) of her son. Even my preference for angst has its limits. ;)_

 _Thank you for reading, and if you feel like it, leave a review to share your thoughts. It makes my day._

 _And in case you're wondering if I'll write more Normero (because some of you have been asking): To be honest, this season is messing with my Normero muse, but I might have come up with an idea for a (maybe multi-chaptered) Normero story and hope to be able to write/post it soonish. Keep your fingers crossed._


End file.
